


Skin and Bones

by wolftea



Series: Valduggery Oneshots [4]
Category: Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy
Genre: F/M, OOC, Valduggery - Freeform, originally written in 2012, they would literally never tickle each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-03
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-29 17:57:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5137274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolftea/pseuds/wolftea





	Skin and Bones

Valkyrie stared at the man, her face a mixture of disbelief and suspicion.

He took a step forward.

She took a step backwards.

She felt as if his eyes could see straight through her. The further away he was the better.

Oh where was Skulduggery? She really didn't feel like fighting a mysterious man in Skulduggery's lounge room at two in the afternoon. Plus he'd kill her if she made a mess.

The man tilted his head at her and Valkyrie stopped.

"Skulduggery?"

"Who else did you think it was?"

"Oh my God. You have a face."

"Yes I do."

"Like, an actual face."

She walked up to him and poked his forehead.

Valkyrie grinned up at him and began poking his cheeks and flicking his ears.

"This is so much more fun now you have skin."

Skulduggery grabbed her wrists and placed her arms back by her side.

"That's enough of that, thank you."

Valkyrie stepped back and looked him over. He was wearing a blue pin-striped suit and a dark blue hat. He had thick black hair, blue eyes that twinkled and a rather attractive face of a man in his mid twenties.

Valkyrie suddenly felt very nervous. She stared at the ground, unable to look at him anymore.

"Um. Is everything alright, Valkyrie?" Skulduggery had definitely noticed her abrupt mood change.

"Yeah. Yeah fine. You... you have a great face." She gestured lamely at him, still not looking at him.

She heard Skulduggery sigh and walk towards her.

"Valkyrie," he began patiently. "Just because I have a face now, doesn't mean I'm not the same person." He tilted Valkyrie's face to his. Valkyrie frowned and grabbed his hand. Her eyes widened.

"Your hands have skin!" She shrieked, all awkwardness forgotten. "Does all you have skin?"

"Well yes, but-"

"Does this mean you're alive? Do you have blood? Can you bruise? Can you die?"

"I suppose so, please don't get any ide-"

"Are you ticklish?"

"No. Definitely not."

Valkyrie's eyes narrowed and she began to stalk towards Skulduggery. He was trying, but failing to keep the grin off his face.

"Now now Valkyrie, I'm sure we can come to some sort of adult, mature agreement," he said quickly, still backing up with his hands in the air. His heels hit the back of the sofa and he dropped onto the cushion. Valkyrie pounced, digging her fingers into his ribs. Skulduggery started laughing, and quickly grabbed her wrists and flipped her, so she was looking up at him.

"Oh." She said.

"Oh indeed."

She noticed the evil glint in his eye.

"Now let's be mature about this," she began, but Skulduggery's hands were already at her ribs. He was relentless and soon she couldn't breathe; eyes watering.

"Stop..." Valkyrie gasped, then started giggling hysterically when Skulduggery raised an eyebrow.

"Say 'please'."

"Please. Please stop. I beg you."

Skulduggery laughed. "Valkyrie Cain; begging? Remind me to tickle you more often."

He released her, but stayed where he was; propping himself up on his elbow looking down at Valkyrie's face.

"You never answered all my questions you know."

"Do you blame me? I was attacked; unprovoked I'll have you know."

Valkyrie laughed, "Come on. Tell me. Are you human again? Did Wreath find a way to reverse what Tenebrae did?"

Skulduggery smiled and shook his head. "I'm still me, Valkyrie. One tap of my collar bone," he revealed his neck and Valkyrie saw symbols etched on his skin, much like a tattoo, "and I'll be a skeleton again. A very dapper skeleton, mind you."

Valkyrie nodded knowingly. "Of course."

"This is just a facade for my whole body. It means I don't have to wear gloves all the time, and I could go to the beach. I actually couldn't see a downside, until a few moments ago."

He narrowed his eyes at her, and she grinned.

"You're welcome. But seriously, does the facade function, does it work like a real human body?"

Skulduggery looked at her strangely.

"Why are you asking me that?"

"What?"

"What are you really trying to ask me?"

Valkyrie felt her face heat up. She thought she'd been subtle. Trust him to realise. Valkyrie tried to push him off but he simply shifted his body weight so that she was pinned beneath him.

"No running away Valkyrie. Answer the question. Look at me."

She shook her head, determined to never look him in the eye again.

"Too embarrassing." She mumbled.

He sighed and started tickling her again.

"Okay! Okay. I'll tell you. Just sit up, and close your eyes."

"If you try to run away Valkyrie I swear to God I'll-"

"I won't. Just do it."

He sat up, cross legged with his eyes close. Valkyrie sat up too, looking at him. She weighed up her options and then sighed. He'd definitely catch her.

She took a shaky breath and then leant towards him. She stopped centimetres from his face.

"Oh for God's sake." Skulduggery muttered and he opened his eyes, put his hand on Valkyrie's back and crushed his lips into hers.

Valkyrie reacted immediately. Her eyes snapped shut. She pushed her body into his and grasped his hair. They broke apart, Skulduggery grinning.

"I thought you were meant to be brave."

"Shut up." Valkyrie said, eyes still closed, head spinning.

Skulduggery kissed her, again and again until they were both lying back down on the couch. Skulduggery nuzzled her hair.

"So what was it you were trying to ask me?"

Valkyrie grimaced. "Do I have to tell you?"

"Yes."

She sighed, rolled over and whispered something in his ear. When she finished, she looked at him, half nervously, half curious.

Skulduggery remained impassive for a moment. Then he looked at her and a grin formed across his face. He kissed her hard and said;

"I'll guess we'll just have to find out."


End file.
